
In the book Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch, he suggests that the way people hug can reflect how they live their lives. Some can hug freely for a long time, while others need to let go after a very short time.
When using the "hugging till relaxed" technique as a tool to enhance intimacy, the goal is for both partners to feel relaxed in each other's arms. Partner A, who feels the need to let go, should focus on calming themselves during the embrace and try to hold on a little longer. At the same time, Partner B should focus on themselves too, rather than attempting to soothe their partner and should be willing to let go as soon as Partner A needs to be released. This approach gives Partner A the confidence to stay longer than they otherwise would, increasing the chances of them relaxing into the hug and perhaps even enjoying it.
The best thing one can do to help Partner A relax is to put their arms around them, hold onto themselves, and quiet themselves down giving them someone to hold who is already calm.
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